A Flashlight Unto My Feet
It's 9:59 pm and I've completed Day 1 of Couch to 5k! It wasn't pretty but I've lived to tell the tale! What makes this such a victory is that I've been saying the following to anyone who will listen, "If I don't work out by 3pm, I don't work out. I'm too tired." So far it's been a good excuse but tonight, God had other plans.
It wasn't an ideal night. The skies were cloudy and the weather stations have been promising rain. Most people would have understood my hesitancy to do a walk/jog with a looming storm. When it comes to God though, it's nothing to do with circumstance and everything to do with obedience and trust. As I put my daughter to bed, I prayed that I wouldn't fall asleep AGAIN, as I prepared to set out into the night on my own, I prayed for safety and as I began, I asked God to heal whatever was broken in my body. I believed that God would hold the storm at bay but if He let it loose, he would refresh me in my efforts. At the beginning of my jog/walk (and truth be told, more walk than jog), I looked up and could see the moon peaking between the heavy clouds and with only a handful of twinkling lights trying to break through, I wondered if I'd get back home before the rains came.
I set off and don't remember looking up again until just before I came inside. I kept my head down, mainly with my eyes on the road and occasionally looked ahead to see if any neighbors were out or to make sure that car lamps weren't coming my way. In my left hand was my phone playing dance club music (you can take the girl out of the clubs but you can't get the music out of the girl) and in the right, my daughter's little flashlight. At one point, I looked down and there it was, the circle of light followed by the still small voice, "I am a lamp unto your feet." For the rest of my jog/walk, I felt like I was following that light and even more accurately, that it was leading my steps. With each step, I felt like God was leading me into a blessing, leading me into the fullness of my life. With all my health issues, it's not often I get to feel that way and it was AWESOME. As tired and pitiful as I was, I couldn't help but speak out my gratitude, even if it sounded like gasps and gulps of air.
The rest of my time on the road went that way, my following the light, feeling this urgency to push ahead and then I was done. As I cooled down, I looked up again...and there wasn't one cloud in the sky. It felt like God had parted the clouds just for me. I felt I could hear, "In you, I am well pleased" and there I was, smiling in the dark.
It wasn't an ideal night. The skies were cloudy and the weather stations have been promising rain. Most people would have understood my hesitancy to do a walk/jog with a looming storm. When it comes to God though, it's nothing to do with circumstance and everything to do with obedience and trust. As I put my daughter to bed, I prayed that I wouldn't fall asleep AGAIN, as I prepared to set out into the night on my own, I prayed for safety and as I began, I asked God to heal whatever was broken in my body. I believed that God would hold the storm at bay but if He let it loose, he would refresh me in my efforts. At the beginning of my jog/walk (and truth be told, more walk than jog), I looked up and could see the moon peaking between the heavy clouds and with only a handful of twinkling lights trying to break through, I wondered if I'd get back home before the rains came.
I set off and don't remember looking up again until just before I came inside. I kept my head down, mainly with my eyes on the road and occasionally looked ahead to see if any neighbors were out or to make sure that car lamps weren't coming my way. In my left hand was my phone playing dance club music (you can take the girl out of the clubs but you can't get the music out of the girl) and in the right, my daughter's little flashlight. At one point, I looked down and there it was, the circle of light followed by the still small voice, "I am a lamp unto your feet." For the rest of my jog/walk, I felt like I was following that light and even more accurately, that it was leading my steps. With each step, I felt like God was leading me into a blessing, leading me into the fullness of my life. With all my health issues, it's not often I get to feel that way and it was AWESOME. As tired and pitiful as I was, I couldn't help but speak out my gratitude, even if it sounded like gasps and gulps of air.
The rest of my time on the road went that way, my following the light, feeling this urgency to push ahead and then I was done. As I cooled down, I looked up again...and there wasn't one cloud in the sky. It felt like God had parted the clouds just for me. I felt I could hear, "In you, I am well pleased" and there I was, smiling in the dark.
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Studio 3:33 - "Self Portrait", September 8, 2010
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