My Temple and My Treasure
Today marks the first day that I finally realize what it feels like to love my body and be wealthy. These are two areas that keep my mind on me and not on God and I have prayed fervently for peace in these tender places. As I sat with Jesus this morning, those prayers were finally answered in such a generous and loving way, that I still haven't quite recovered my breath from knowing that God cares about us so much.
I woke up in the early hours of this morning hating my body. I didn't think I was so hostile toward my body but my body has had this history of failure for so long, that I just expect it to now. It's a vicious cycle of my body failing so I expect it to fail and so it does. I'm like a hamster on a wheel. As I was going through this recurring cycle of self-hate, however, I decided to ask for the presence of Jesus and His counsel. The first thing that was spoken into my heart was, "How can you hate what these hands have made?" In my mind's eye I saw Him open His hands to me and I saw the damage there. I was immediately ashamed at the harshness with which I have spoken over His daughter for so long. He continued with these words:
-All you see is thinning hair. I look beyond that into a mind that is always seeking ways to love my Father. I gave it the ability to think creatively and to find solutions. Don't let it get distracted by things that would make you feel less.
-You focus on the fat in your body. I see the soft places your husband and daughter have rested their weary heads. I see arms that bring comfort and friendship to my children. I see legs that get up and get you where I need you to be. I gave you hands to express your faith through writing, drawing and making jewelry. I've given you a mouth to speak life into my church and the people who need hope. Continue to smile. Your value goes beyond the mere image of your body.
-You compare yourself to athletes so you always feel like you're falling short of your best. I didn't make you an athlete. I made you to create. As a carpenter I know the importance of taking care of my tools. As an artisan you should understand that too. Your body is My tool and I need You to take care of it so it's available when I need it. I'm not asking you to run a marathon but I am asking you to do what you can; otherwise, you're wasting my gift of movement and health and you're jeopardizing the plans I have for you.
I was finally seeing myself through God's eyes and for the first time, really since giving birth to my daughter, I felt a kindness and gratitude toward my temple.
I have also struggled with comparing my circumstances with others and can feel failure in certain aspects of my financial life. It's not all the time but it can creep in when my activities are limited or I have to say no to my daughter. As I let this truth come forward, Jesus again, offered bold words:
-It's not the accumulation of things that make you feel wealthy. It's the lack of pressure on the money you have and the generosity of your giving that defines true wealth. Continue to fiercely guard your lack of debt and GIVE what I call you to give. In both, you will find the peace you desire and know how I define wealth.
-You're comparing yourself to the wrong people. If I showed you all my children who can't imagine the wealth YOU have, you'd be ashamed of how ungrateful you sound when you continue to desire more.
-It's not really money you want. It's my miraculous provision. Haven't I shown you this is already possible? You're like the Israelites who complained after my Father parted the Red Sea. Is your memory so short that you've forgotten how He took care of you in your time of need? You keep focusing on the provision when the point is to focus on He who provides.
-Pray your heart's desire but trust that I know what's best for you.
It's these quiet times with Jesus that I get a glimpse of love that is bigger than human understanding, I know that God sees me and He is worthy of all my praise.
Have a blessed day, beloved...
I woke up in the early hours of this morning hating my body. I didn't think I was so hostile toward my body but my body has had this history of failure for so long, that I just expect it to now. It's a vicious cycle of my body failing so I expect it to fail and so it does. I'm like a hamster on a wheel. As I was going through this recurring cycle of self-hate, however, I decided to ask for the presence of Jesus and His counsel. The first thing that was spoken into my heart was, "How can you hate what these hands have made?" In my mind's eye I saw Him open His hands to me and I saw the damage there. I was immediately ashamed at the harshness with which I have spoken over His daughter for so long. He continued with these words:
-All you see is thinning hair. I look beyond that into a mind that is always seeking ways to love my Father. I gave it the ability to think creatively and to find solutions. Don't let it get distracted by things that would make you feel less.
-You focus on the fat in your body. I see the soft places your husband and daughter have rested their weary heads. I see arms that bring comfort and friendship to my children. I see legs that get up and get you where I need you to be. I gave you hands to express your faith through writing, drawing and making jewelry. I've given you a mouth to speak life into my church and the people who need hope. Continue to smile. Your value goes beyond the mere image of your body.
-You compare yourself to athletes so you always feel like you're falling short of your best. I didn't make you an athlete. I made you to create. As a carpenter I know the importance of taking care of my tools. As an artisan you should understand that too. Your body is My tool and I need You to take care of it so it's available when I need it. I'm not asking you to run a marathon but I am asking you to do what you can; otherwise, you're wasting my gift of movement and health and you're jeopardizing the plans I have for you.
I was finally seeing myself through God's eyes and for the first time, really since giving birth to my daughter, I felt a kindness and gratitude toward my temple.
I have also struggled with comparing my circumstances with others and can feel failure in certain aspects of my financial life. It's not all the time but it can creep in when my activities are limited or I have to say no to my daughter. As I let this truth come forward, Jesus again, offered bold words:
-It's not the accumulation of things that make you feel wealthy. It's the lack of pressure on the money you have and the generosity of your giving that defines true wealth. Continue to fiercely guard your lack of debt and GIVE what I call you to give. In both, you will find the peace you desire and know how I define wealth.
-You're comparing yourself to the wrong people. If I showed you all my children who can't imagine the wealth YOU have, you'd be ashamed of how ungrateful you sound when you continue to desire more.
-It's not really money you want. It's my miraculous provision. Haven't I shown you this is already possible? You're like the Israelites who complained after my Father parted the Red Sea. Is your memory so short that you've forgotten how He took care of you in your time of need? You keep focusing on the provision when the point is to focus on He who provides.
-Pray your heart's desire but trust that I know what's best for you.
It's these quiet times with Jesus that I get a glimpse of love that is bigger than human understanding, I know that God sees me and He is worthy of all my praise.
Have a blessed day, beloved...
You are precious to me. You are honored and I love you.
(Isaiah 43:4, NLT)
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Studio 3:33 - Lessons from the Cross: Worship and Fellowship
August 20, 2010
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