There's No Reason We Should Work: A Love Story
My husband, Mark, and I are vastly different people. I have a past I speak of in whispers; you could eat off of Mark's past, it's so clean. Mark is fluent in geek speak and wonders why I stare at him blankly so often (luckily we have Star Trek and Star Wars in common so I DO have a working knowledge of the language!). I love him enough to sit through HOURS of football even though I don't know what's going on half the time. (I will tell you though that I LOVE a good back story on the athletes and anytime I get a chance to yell at the TV, I'm down.). Mark is more vocal politically than I am. It pains me to tell you he loves to watch professional wrestling ( "It's a soap opera for guys, honey!") but in the interest of full disclosure, I was really bummed to see The Rock and Cena fight AGAINST each other. In turn, Mark tolerates my freakish love for quirky detective shows and ,yes, I am publicly declaring Psych is one of the best shows of all time! Despite these differences, however, we make allowances for each other, we love deeply, we decide each day that our family is a team and we figure it out.
As I look back on our years together I see how we're making it work:
1) We made a promise from the beginning to only be crazy one at a time.
It has been very important that someone remain calm in the midst of chaos. After being together for 18 years, Mark is still waiting for his turn at the crazy.
2) We agree in the way we want to raise our daughter.
I do my best to teach our daughter how to be a capable woman and Mark teaches her how a man should treat his family. We are both doing our best to model how to be a contributing citizen in this world.
3) We know we are not going to be everything for the other person.
I LOVE my husband but there is so MUCH that I need, I don't expect him to be all of it. He perfectly provides his portion but I have girlfriends who understand me as a woman, I have siblings who have experienced my history and my daughter allows me to be a mommy. I had a boyfriend before Mark who taught me what I DIDN'T want in a man or a relationship. This guy and I tried to be everything for each other and not only did we chase everyone away but as a result, when we fought there was no one to turn to. We burned out in a ball of FLAME. Mark and I didn't want that for our marriage. I love that there is enough of both of us to be there for each other and people we both love and care about.
4) We both LOVE action movies.
Mark and I have different schedules and obligations but when an action movie comes out, we find each other. I guess that's my point. No matter what is happening in our lives, we find each other.
5) God comes first.
Before either one of us, God comes first. Since we made the decision to pray as a family, live out the love of Jesus and seek guidance from the Holy Spirit, everything else just seems to work out, even when there's no reason it should.
Mark likes to say, "Honey, the enemy would have us focus on our differences but God knows how we complement each other." Mark and I are vastly different but in all the places it matters, he was made just for me.
I LOVE my husband but there is so MUCH that I need, I don't expect him to be all of it. He perfectly provides his portion but I have girlfriends who understand me as a woman, I have siblings who have experienced my history and my daughter allows me to be a mommy. I had a boyfriend before Mark who taught me what I DIDN'T want in a man or a relationship. This guy and I tried to be everything for each other and not only did we chase everyone away but as a result, when we fought there was no one to turn to. We burned out in a ball of FLAME. Mark and I didn't want that for our marriage. I love that there is enough of both of us to be there for each other and people we both love and care about.
4) We both LOVE action movies.
Mark and I have different schedules and obligations but when an action movie comes out, we find each other. I guess that's my point. No matter what is happening in our lives, we find each other.
5) God comes first.
Before either one of us, God comes first. Since we made the decision to pray as a family, live out the love of Jesus and seek guidance from the Holy Spirit, everything else just seems to work out, even when there's no reason it should.
Mark likes to say, "Honey, the enemy would have us focus on our differences but God knows how we complement each other." Mark and I are vastly different but in all the places it matters, he was made just for me.
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Studio 3:33 - "Exercise in Surrender" - August 26, 2010
Sometimes you just have to see where you're going to go without a plan.
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