When Happiness Eludes You

"Happiness is a choice."

I have said this a million times but you know what?  Easier said than done.  It was so much easier to say these words when I ALREADY FELT THAT WAY.

These days, though, it's been hard to FIND my happy. 

Now don't get me wrong. I do feel BLESSED:
-I have a family in my home, in tact and we love each other deeply. 
-We have family who are friends and friends who are family.
-Our church is vibrant and it stands with us.
-My husband and I are happy in our work.
-Our child is a miracle.
-We have shelter and transportation.
-We have food on our table.
-I believe God is listening.

I AM blessed.

...But I also feel PRESSED.

There’s a lot to worry about right now.  In me, in my home, in our government, in the world...I worry.  I am struggling with being PRESENT with God as I think about what is coming.

Forgive me, Lord.

As I typed that paragraph, I felt God saying, "And that's why you can't find your happiness."  

I have conspired against my own happiness.

My priorities have been mixed up. 
I let fear immobilize me. 
Laziness and regret have been inseparable. 
Isolation is like patting the  seat beside you and telling the devil you saved him a spot. 
I have put my thought  into what I can't control instead of putting my ACTIONS into what I CAN control. 
Comparing the abundance of my past has made the provision of today feel like it's not enough. 
I have not had a sense of urgency.
I have treated Rebellion and Disobedience as my companions instead of unwelcome guests...

So.  If I have been the maiden that has taken a bite out of the apple laced with these poisons, what is the kiss to awaken me? To remember the reminders.

Fear is a reminder to pray. Fear says we are alone. Prayer is a reminder that is a lie.

Worry is a reminder to serve. Worry is self-centered. Serving thinks of others, changes lives and unites us.

Desire is a reminder to be grateful. Desire says what we have is not enough.  Gratitude shines a light on our abundance.

Beloved, I haven't found all the remedies yet but at the end of this writing, I do feel happier!  I pray you're closer to finding your happy too.