Joy, In Suffering

As I read more of Paul's writings in the Bible (currently through Beth Moore's Thessalonians study), it becomes clear why I love him so much (even beyond his Saul to Paul transformation, which I relate to deeply): He didn't just survive from defeat to defeat. He was a man who LIVED from victory to victory.

Paul knew suffering intimately, emotionally and physically. He was met by opposition constantly. Paul was hated by many and he suffered by their hands. He could've chosen to go home anytime, in defeat, but even greater than the pain, was his unceasing, relentless, prevailing JOY: Offering the hope of Jesus Christ. Greater than the beatings, the imprisonment, the shipwreck, the threat of death, all of it...was his mission to spread the gospel. For Paul, these sufferings were but a pause between each miracle. He lived to see the revelation of God's love in a new believer's eyes and the growth of the Church.

Too often we go through life barely surviving and just waiting for the next shoe to drop. Your temperature check is what you anticipate when you look at the horizon: victory or defeat. Life can bring trial but look for the blessings. EXPECT them and CLING to them. It's your exhale when you feel like you can do nothing but hold your breath.

When my dad was sick, sometimes the only prayer I had left in me was the groanings of my heart. It was hard to feel victorious in that situation. I remember, though, that the song "Praise You in the Storm" became my anthem. It gave me a new set of eyes with which to see the blessings, even in cancer:

-  So much of Dad's identity had been tied up in his intellect. (To this day, he's the smartest person I have ever known.) As a result, I never really knew Dad to be a spiritual person but when his hospice pastor came, I heard him say, "I am a Christian."
- One night I spent 3 hours by his bed reading "Heaven is For Real" from cover to cover. As I read, though it took him great effort and he was barely speaking, he moved from his back to his side to face me and at the end, said, "I liked that story." This precious, beloved man had read to me countless times as a child and God allowed us to come full circle as I read to him, offering him peace and hope.
- About 2 weeks before he passed away, I saw him gazing at the ceiling and Dad said, "Do you see them high in the sky? That's the light of the good guys."
- After passing, Dad sent a message from heaven to his children when he led us to this patch of sand in Connecticut, on the way to Rhode Island to say our final goodbyes. (It says "RIP  ❤, Robert")

I tell you, my brothers and sister, even in death we have the assurance of victory.