A Drink and a Prayer
A new acquaintance recently asked me, “Do you think it’s okay
to pray at a restaurant with a cocktail in front of me?” I told her I didn’t
think it was. I suggested that if she was going to have a drink in a restaurant, she could pray silently. Needless to say, she didn't fully support my answer. She said she got anxiety in crowds and a drink helped her relax. She didn't like that my answer seemed to have an air of judgement. I won't get into the spiritual, mental, social or chemical implications of her need for a drink to cope with people but I do want to take the opportunity to expand on my answer. Regrettably, our conversation was interrupted and I never did get to explain why I didn't support a drink and a prayer.
Obviously, I LOVE prayer and I'm certainly in no position to judge an adult's choice to drink. I have had a plum wine with sushi. I think mud slides are yummy and a frozen margarita with salt has shown up on a night out with the girls. I have, however, made a personal decision not to drink around my daughter and I can't remember the last time I had a drink with my husband. He doesn't drink at all so it just doesn't occur to me to partake when I'm with him. None of it, however, influences the answer I gave about not praying with a drink at a restaurant.
Obviously, I LOVE prayer and I'm certainly in no position to judge an adult's choice to drink. I have had a plum wine with sushi. I think mud slides are yummy and a frozen margarita with salt has shown up on a night out with the girls. I have, however, made a personal decision not to drink around my daughter and I can't remember the last time I had a drink with my husband. He doesn't drink at all so it just doesn't occur to me to partake when I'm with him. None of it, however, influences the answer I gave about not praying with a drink at a restaurant.
This truly isn’t a judgement call about having a drink with dinner. I think prayer is what drives faith. I fully believe in thanking God for the
bounty of sitting to a meal. I don’t
believe a drink in itself is sinful and I say this fully aware this is a point of contention among Christians. My
answer, however, came from who I was as a pre-Christian.
It wasn't so long ago that I was an unbeliever. If I'm perfectly honest, it wasn't just that I was a non-Christian, I was ANTI-Christian. In those days, had I seen someone wearing a cross, praying with a drink in front of them, it would have fed into my perception that Christians are hypocrites. It wasn’t because I condemned you for having a drink; it was because I
saw you as part of a group of people who'd been condemning ME as an unbeliever...and look at you! Whether it applies to all of us or not, Christians have a reputation for being judgmental and condescending; like we have it all figured out and shame on everyone else for not knowing the same TRUTH. There is a perception in the secular world that once you have a relationship with God, that all the vices end, or at least they should. It is hard not to see God as small in your life when rest and shelter and escape occur in other things (said the plus-sized woman!). As Christians, we know that having a relationship with God is not usually the immediate cure for the illnesses and angst with which we BEGIN that relationship but that it is in that surrender we begin HEALING and live out our greatest hope. Surrender takes practice and a deliberate decision in each moment and sometimes moments get away from us. The world, however, doesn't start with that understanding. I know I didn't. Praying in front of a cocktail is exactly the picture of contradiction that the secular world is looking for to support their views that we have nothing new to offer! Obviously, there are SO MANY layers we could explore here but folks, given the choice, take the prayer over the drink. If we're really trying to grow the kingdom, praying with a screwdriver in hand doesn't seem the best way to do it.
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3:33 Art - "He's Come to Calm the Storm", August 8, 2010
A lovely story comes with this picture. As I mentioned earlier, my drawings were born in a time my heart was in continual state of brokenness as my beloved dad was fighting lung and brain cancer. The unthinkable was happening and my anthem was Casting Crowns' "Praise You in the Storm". It inspired the title to this piece. If you read my earlier blog, 3:33 Art, you know it was my friend Jody who was among the people who were part of that first day of inspiration and we ministered to each other as both our families coped with the advancement of this debilitating disease. Shortly after I drew this particular picture, Jody's dad was called to heaven. By way of love and support, the people in our small group signed a copy of this drawing and it was given to Jody. Jody would later tell me that a treasured letter was given to her by her dad and though he'd never done it before, he wrote the time signature at the top of the letter in this particular instance: 3:33am. I said, "Jody, have you seen how I signed the drawing I gave you?" She hadn't and pulled out my drawing to see what I'd referenced: "MR 3:33". In that moment, I don't think either of us could help but feel we'd had a touch from heaven.
(Shared with Jody's permission.)
(Shared with Jody's permission.)
"There is a perception in the secular world that once you have a relationship with God, that all the vices end, or at least they should." this perception remains for some even within the church - some continuing to judge others, and some continuing to judge themselves. it's certainly been one of my great struggles, thinking i should have been done with such-and-such by now! but it's true: you don't know what you don't know. growth is a process. thank God for His continued enlightenment!
ReplyDeleteand the art story in this case happens to be one of my very most favorite ones!!!
You know, I think that is exactly what is implied by the empty boat in this drawing: That we have stepped out in faith, despite the danger of sinking. I think it's the beginning of healing once you have said "YES!" and you have to take each step, over the uncertain depth of your ability, in FAITH, WITH hope and in God's strength. We step out with the best of intentions but a ripple, a wave, even a tsunami comes along to knock us off our feet. We scramble to the safety of the boat and again, we have to make the decision to step out in faith, despite the difficulties we've already faced. I'm happy for anyone who has their life together but to those people who haven't been tested by their own short-comings, circumstance or illness, I would say it's impossible to judge someone else's walk. I would also say that in the busy-ness of judging another's struggles, you're either not doing enough to help them or you're probably ignoring something within yourself that is more in need of the attention.
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