Value, Power, Intuition
November 13, 2012
When my daughter was in preschool, a little boy asked her for a kiss. Her response: "My mom has been training me since I was 3 to say NO." I love this story for several reasons but mainly because in that moment, my girl understood she had a choice. As the mother of a young child, I see that a common conversation with other moms is how to talk about "stranger danger". How do you make it informative and age appropriate without causing a crippling fear? I think you fight fear with the confidence of feeling equipped. My experience is that graphic details aren't necessary but what is IMPERATIVE is teaching Marianne that she has value, power and intuition.
I want my child to know she is valuable. I am very mindful that we're not just raising a young girl but also a future teenager! With all the distortions of body image that come from television, movies, ad campaigns and store fronts, it can be too easy for kids to get the idea that modesty, self respect and the notion that their bodies are God's temple are no longer modern ideas. We have our jobs cut out for us to undo that lie but it's possible when we begin those conversations as early as possible.
I want my child to know that her little body has power. We talk about self defense techniques. We yell and scream. We practice the use of elbows and knees and the "SING" scene from Miss Congeniality (I use the media for her good too!) - solar plexis, instep, nose and groin. She has been given permission to cause damage.
This knowleddge is also tide in with intuition. (The little boy who asked her for a kiss was not harmed in any way!) I tell Marianne to check her head, her heart and her gut: her head helps her think, her heart helps her feel, her gut is God's safety check and it's her gut that gets the final say. I have told her if her stomach tightens, regardless of what her head and heart are telling her, GET OUT. Run first and fight only as a last resort.
I know that little preschool boy was harmless but I pray that the choices Marianne makes now will serve her when the boys aren't so little.
I want my child to know she is valuable. I am very mindful that we're not just raising a young girl but also a future teenager! With all the distortions of body image that come from television, movies, ad campaigns and store fronts, it can be too easy for kids to get the idea that modesty, self respect and the notion that their bodies are God's temple are no longer modern ideas. We have our jobs cut out for us to undo that lie but it's possible when we begin those conversations as early as possible.
I want my child to know that her little body has power. We talk about self defense techniques. We yell and scream. We practice the use of elbows and knees and the "SING" scene from Miss Congeniality (I use the media for her good too!) - solar plexis, instep, nose and groin. She has been given permission to cause damage.
This knowleddge is also tide in with intuition. (The little boy who asked her for a kiss was not harmed in any way!) I tell Marianne to check her head, her heart and her gut: her head helps her think, her heart helps her feel, her gut is God's safety check and it's her gut that gets the final say. I have told her if her stomach tightens, regardless of what her head and heart are telling her, GET OUT. Run first and fight only as a last resort.
I know that little preschool boy was harmless but I pray that the choices Marianne makes now will serve her when the boys aren't so little.
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