Insert Jesus

                           

November 15, 2012: 

A profound healing took place when I was ministered to by my brother, Anthony. Anthony is 10 years younger but has been a Christian for many years longer and his insight continues to be a source of great comfort. On this particular occasion, I shared a memory that had threatened to overtake me all my life and I couldn’t hold back the tears. I had managed this memory by ignoring it, by distractions and not allowing myself to be still in the presence of it. As I exposed my pain, Anthony didn't tell me to get over it and never dismissed my deep hurt. What he did say, however, changed everything: “Let’s go back to that moment and insert Jesus. See what He has to say.” I didn’t know if I could fully surrender to this exercise but the possibility of putting down my burden was worth exploring. Together, we went back to the day that had caused me so much pain and we looked at it in vivid detail, recalling all that I’d seen, felt and heard. It is not easy to give pain permission to hurt you again but the difference THIS time is I had a healing balm in the presence of Jesus. I have since done this with other memories that have kept me in bondage and each time I am given a message of renewal. When one moment told me, “You weren’t even worthy to look up for”, Jesus said, “I never took my eyes off you.” When another said, “Your life is a mistake”, Jesus said, “I have a plan for you.” When I looked in the mirror and saw garbage, Jesus looked at my reflection and saw someone worth saving. It’s not easy to face pain but you don’t have to do it alone. You can insert Jesus.