“This. Right here. This is all I need.”



December 6, 2012

“This. Right here. This is all I need.” These are the words I speak to my daughter when she crawls into my lap, settles into me and we are still, together. It is a perfect moment when nothing else matters except her existence, our closeness and the knowledge that this LIGHT…is mine. In that moment she doesn’t have to speak, it doesn’t matter if she gets good grades, she’s not performing or making 
me laugh. She’s not getting into trouble, she’s not in the middle of chores to earn money, she’s not DOING…anything. It is the time when we are most present with each other, breathing each other in, secure in the knowledge that all is well because I have her in my arms and we belong to each other. My daughter is with me and in that moment, it's all I need.

When I’m by myself and in that state of quiet reflection, I imagine this is what Jesus says to me. “This. Right here. This is all I need.” My friend, Amanda, one of my favorite people in the world sent me the following image from her site:





After I read it, I wept. My heart was broken with the knowledge that although I LOVE Jesus, it is rare that I allow Him to speak His love into me. I am not still and states of quiet reflection are rare. I am a Martha who hasn’t gotten the hang of being a Mary (Luke 10:38-42). In my overflowing love and gratitude for God, I have expressed it in the state of DOING and not in the state of BEING. It doesn’t naturally occur to me that God would desire to spend quiet time with me, not doing anything, just resting in the knowledge that we belong to each other and it is enough.

I have been so restless since my Walk to Emmaus. I have been in the state of unfulfilled expectation and the disappointment of it all has left me, at times, despondent and feeling forgotten. I guess I’d expected a grand assignment, a heavenly touch, something BIG to occur…and it has only sunk in this morning, that without my realizing it, it’s happened. It’s nothing noteworthy to the world nor is it happening on a grand scale but it may be one of the most important things I ever do: I am learning to rest in the presence of Jesus. And it is all that I need.

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