Can "Strong" and "Subservient" Live in the Same Woman?

I hear the words "subservient woman" and my first thought is, "Ew."  It's not deep, but it's honest.  I am a first-born, strong-willed, rebellious, feisty ethnic woman.  How does THAT become subservient?  I have been a Christian for almost 4 years now (January 4, 2013) and it is an area that I struggle to be Biblically sound.  Now before all my girls start thinking that I have given up all   my rights to being a capable, modern woman, lets explore what this means. We start with the definition of subservient.  According to www.thefreedictionary.com/subservient, it is an adjective:  1. Subordinate in capacity or function. 2. Obsequious; servile. 3. Useful as a means or an instrument; serving to promote an end.

The first two definitions make me want to snap my neck around with my finger   all UP:  Oh no he di-int. Number 3, however, is more in line with my understanding and execution of "subservient":  Useful as a means or an instrument; serving to promote an end.  This, I can get down with. I am an instrument of God, promoting His vision for our world: love.  I am a wife and mother who wants to meet the goals of our family in partnership with my husband.  Being subservient is an act of respect.

My husband is Biblically called to be the leader of our home.  He has to work at this too. He is the exact opposite of everything I am:  He's the baby of his family, he's sweet and easy-going, he follows the rules and couldn't be farther from being ethnic. How does THAT lead all of THIS?!?!  It's not easy. My inclination is to pull him along and his is to get along.  How do you overcome a role you have settled into when you have been called to be something else?  Leadership is an act of love. 

Mark and I have talked at length about what leadership and being subservient means to our family and spiritual growth.  It takes conscious EFFORT and many times we fall short.  In our mutual desire to be more in line with God's vision, however, we have discovered a whole new level of cooperation, confidence and rest that we didn't have before.  With Mark's  practice in leadership, he makes sound decisions within the needs of our family and in turn, he respects my ability to offer counsel and execute those needs. He is respected and I feel loved.

Being a man or woman in this modern world is a tricky thing.  Modern women are expected to be strong multi-taskers who lead and don't take any crap.  Modern men are expected to be more nurturing, sensitive and cooperative.  Yes, we can be ALL these things and there are circumstances where we better be equipped with all of it.  Our culture has made sure of that. I just know that in my own relationship, it has helped so much to know that we have given each other permission to lead and be led, to be masculine and feminine.  It's not that women are less or men are more.  It's that it IS okay for women to be vulnerable and men to be strong.  It's not about Mark being a demanding tyrant as he leads our family and it's not about giving up the best parts of myself to support him.  It is more that he's given me someone worth following and I've given him a place his heart can be secure.  I don't have to be subservient to every man, just my man.  And he's worth it. 

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3:33 Art - "Let Your Light Shine", August 9, 2010




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